Choice versus Destiny

[one of my mails to our groups while discussing the topic]

Choice maketh the difference. It is not an illusion. All outcomes are based on the thoughts that went in our mind, when we made the choice. That is not my stand. That is the truth. (...fanatic!!!).

I dont know abt others. But quite early in my childhood, I have been inspired by something and started dreaming abt it. I wanted to become something and someone. Call it I wanted to become a "Parthiban Duraisamy Pattakaran". I am living that dream till date, though my travel towards reaching the destination detoured once or twice. But I realise that my dream is my soul and my continued attempts to reach the destination keeps my soul alive.

I dont know if I will be successful in the end i.e when my ash is dissolved in the ocean or my coffin is nailed - but I know that there are only two possibilities:

1. I have succeeded.

2. I have failed.

Having lived my dream for so many years, I know an approximate route to my destination. I know what are the choices that I have to choose/leave. I know what are the decisions I have to make. NOW, at this juncture, if it were to be true that the future is a complex function, whose factors are beyond our control or even beyond our cognition, and so failure is 99% sure, then is there any meaning in continuing further? Shall I stop my efforts then?

Stopping myself from not reaching my destination means, I am stopping the life of my soul, which could be equated to DEATH. Simply that.

I cant let my soul die just like that. I cant play that loose shot or keep myself from turning out for the match. If destiny is so strong let it earn its wicket - I am not going to throw it away myself. Afterall I am a champion. I am a Tendulkar, if u want it that way. I wud like to go till the end, making all the choices, which actully decide the final score. I am not saying I beleive in this. I am saying that this is the truth.( :-))) fanaticism). I am saying that this is the way it happens!

Let me conclude:

Every soul has a purpose and all mortals have realised the purpose of their souls early in their life. A few go after fulfilling that purpose, which brings them joy, which makes them die happily. Most people forget this purpose and get carried away or get drifted in the current of life.

But there are some, who forget the purpose, but spend the rest of their life searching for it, searching for the purpose of their birth. In reality, they are only trying to remember the forgotten purpose. What they really dont understand is that they are wasting their precious life just searching and at the end of the search...well, most of the time it is too late. There are some ppl fortunate enuf to recollect their dreams (purpose of soul) again at an early age and start chasing it.

This is the philosophy that I am following and it got reaffirmed by Alchemist. No wonder I mention the book, recommend the book, every now and then.

I chose the one less travelled by and that made all the difference. Thanks Frost for endorsing choice.

Love,

Parthi.

Wanna some dosa?...there is atta at home

Not again! I was in no mood to prepare Dosa today. The chutney and atta were left to my mercy, by the maid, but I was not planning to perform the atta-dosa transformation.

What is this mood - very slacky, lazy and,...what is this? In the last 18 hours I have successfully added three more features to the already deployed project, which is running in millions of user comps. I should feel tremendously happy. My mentor didn't even take a look at it - hope he trusted me so much! Also I helped him to sort out an "operations" issue. Lot of fruitful work today, still I dont know why I felt cold, lazy and dull. It was not exactly depression, but I dint like the feeling.

So I set my walk towards Minerva Coffee Shop, and browsing thro' the menu, I came across the word mushroom. Long time! So ordered a Mushroom fried rice, which looked relatively cheaper. Also the bearer made sure that I ordered a raitha. I was not sure if he was going to charge me for that! And in the end, he made out a cheque, where the raitha costed half the price of the main course. I would have told you, had the food been great. So dont ask me how it was. But I have learnt to ask for "Cheque pls" at the end rather than "bill".

I have always believed that, eating well gets one refreshed and most of the time brings back to his senses. I remember one deadly night. And whenever I remember that I remember Anand; and the fruit juice at Hi-look; and myself coming back to my senses.

This food made me some good. Still I think a good sleep will help. So I'm leaving now to sleep - will tell you, if my mood was prevalent.

The HYD 10K Run

"T-Shirt", and that was the first catch. Coincidentally, before hearing about the 10K run, I was discussing with friends about not having a T-shirt with the company logo and name. And the same afternoon, they announce about a marathon run and a T-shirt as a compliment. The T-shirt was really nice and the Juno name on it made it more dear to me.

When I received the kit, it was on the condition that I should turn up for the run on Sunday, the 28th Nov about 7am, without fail. I was wondering, why should I be warned like that - Kishore made it clear: "usually people go to bed late on Saturdays and no one knows what a Sunday 7am looks like". Well, nearly 15000 Hyderabadis were there today to see what it looked like, when I went to Necklace Road in the morning. School children and girls were there all around the place and I was sure that it is going to be a visual treat :-).

There was an initial warm up session, but I was busy looking for some pinning material to pin the number "11933" upon my T-shirt. When I was done, YSR, the CM of AP, has arrived and he flagged off the run. Balloons flying and gun shots marked the start.

To recall, I met Deepak Bhambwani, Vijay, Phalgun, AmitK, AmitD, Aadithya, Abhijeets, Sripal, Paddu, Ashwin, Chandy, Naresh, Arun, Harini, Bala, Anbu, Ganesh, Vikki, Sai, Ramesh, Harini(Juno) and half a dozen CRM folks, whose names I dont know.

Coming to the run, I had plans of looking at it as a race and trying to emerge as a victor. But I felt that it will be bad to leave friends apart and run alone. No one had the mood of a race and so I gave up that idea.

Well, there was nothing pushing you to your limits in this run. It was a mild challenge and everyone broke it. The mildness was due to the fact that the target was always in your sight. Necklace road is visible from Lumbini park, Tank Bund, Sanjeevaiah park or the Rock gardens - u can say to urself that, it is there nearby and it is approaching - so run baby run...

A couple of babies were trolleyed by their parents, who were partially walking and partially running. One of the baby was a real doll-look. One of the good things about the Run is seeing that baby. So cute!

Arun was with me all the time, cracking jokes and singing, as we passed by some cool chicks. We were joined and left by DPAmit, Aadithya and Vikki. I dint take much water or glucose en route.

I expected a breathing difficulty towards the end, like the one I encountered in the Army marathon in my first year NCC camp. But no difficulty was there waiting for me. It was a smooth run. In the army run, as I was gaining distance, some feeling was starting from my neck and building upwards towards my face, eyes and forehead and finally brain...breathing became difficult and visibility poor. Still I told myself that "the gate is getting closer by every step" and finally finished fourth. I think Sollamuthu won the race. I remember him looking like a one fresh out of the bath tub, even after the race, while we others were panting and gasping and doing all sort of things, and many others yet to cross half the length.

At times press persons were crossing with cameras and people ran after them, with a hope of getting videographed! I missed the press vehicle everytime!

When we were at the 9th km, Arun asked me if we can get to some serious running. I dont know what I replied to him, but all I know is that, I was madly running. Faster and still faster. The last one km was covered in no time and my legs were telling me that, if you did stop anywhere then we would cooperate no more. I never gave them a deceleration. I crossed the line in full speed, only to stop before Mr. Krishna of Microsoft, who has finished ahead of most people. He recognised me and told me that he was waiting for his kids!

Just as I stood there relaxing, Anand Kumar Karthik(Juno) passed by in his bike. He stopped me as I waved at him, and asked me if I saw any Juno guy. Someone approached me from behind and asked me something, which I comprehended as "Could u drop me at the secretariat?". Man, it was a beauty. Wow! But, how can I drop her, without a vehicle? I cud have offered to carry her, had it been some other time; I was looking for someone to carry me! I jus' delegated it to Karthik, who was generous to help her! I regretted for not owning a vehicle. Jus' for a minute!

Cool! It was not very cold the prev night, and the temperature was tailor made for the run. Harini felt that the sun is going to be heavy on the runners. Luckily it was not so. Thanks to the pics by Naresh and Arun. As usual I forgot to take my camera! Hope mom will excuse!

This is my third long distance run, if I dont take into account those expeditions to Kanuvai and Tholampalayam by foot. The first one was at the army camp, and the second was during the Anna Univ 25th year celeb, from Univ to Marina Beach.

This time it is a different mood and different people altogether. For a just cause(s) - as YSR said - fun, health and charity. Let the purposes be met. Anyway, I got my T-shirt and also did justice to its price.

The Company Day

Having already attended a party during the Microsft Annual Day @ Viceroy's, I know to some extent how a party at a 5 star hotel will be like. May be some of my new friends might have been excited.

ITC Kakhathiya Sheraton, as a 5 star hotel, is no different from Taj Krishna, atleast in its ball rooms and conference halls. One thing that caught my eye was the wide stair case, and the open air dinner place. In Taj Krishna, apart from the open air, u also get a glimpse of the swimming pool, which makes it a little more exotic.

I took Vignesh along with me, starting from home. And surprisingly he got one of the early bird prizes and not me!

When I volunteered for the dumb charades, I felt really bad for having done so - for I already am going to sing, I could have given the chance to somebody else. But even after one minute of invitation, if no one volunteers for a just cause, then how can u expect me to sit back? Cool. That event was fun, we got two films "Never say never again" and one more that I forgot. My teammates were Ravi Kiran and RajaG.

Watching the dance numbers, I recollected two dances by my girls, one for the Punnagai Mannan music in my college, and the other one "Do laare do laare" during Microsoft annual day. I understood what professional dance really means. Hats off to you Janani!

Kavitha and Dayal are exceptional singers and Dayal's Dil Se number, "Poongaatrilae" got a wonderful applause. He had karaoke for the BGM, which I thought of doing in the morning, and as usual dropped because of laziness.

Bala's skit was stupendous. Man, he is a wonderful guy, full of enthu. Magnificent performance and everyone burst with laughter. Applauses are due to all the performers RajaG, Amitab and Jasvir, who played their part well, without laughing themselves. RajaG's "It's all your mistake,...no,no it's all our mistake" will be remembered for sometime. Time and again u prove urself Bala!

Half an hour before my event Ravi Kiran and others were telling me to sing in Tamil, as no one is giving a Tamil number. I was seriously thinking about a last minute change, but I gave myself the same old reason: even if I dont perform well, I will get the merit of having sung in a new language, and that too the mother tongue of local people. Also somehow I was confident that I can't do any better in Tamil also. And after Bala's skit, not only did my stomach burst, but also my throat!

I dint forget to thank Ramesh and Deepthi, who transliterated the Telugu lyrics to
English.

When I started "Watch on...watch on..." everyone burst into a big laughter. I deliberately wanted to avoid the English lines of the song. But I understood that without "Everytime I wanna see you my girl" I cant get the first line correct. So I went for it. In that short span of time I have finished the English stanza, I understood that, everyone there are for fun, not for my voice(do I have one?...indeed yes - Harini has certified!). Well, there were a lot of whistles and claps as I swam thro "Malleeshwarive...". Really happy and real fun.

"Murali Says" program was fun and everyone was suddenly transported to their childhood, running for prizes. Balbi got a gift bunch and gave me a rubber ball, which I have kept in my desk right now.

Wonderful set of events. Compering by Aruna and Mukesh was really great. Very well thought out and exceuted. It should have been rehearsed a couple of times. I remember the Sangeetha Singh, doing a really good job as a DJ in the MS Party, but as a professional she should have done still better. Well done Aruna, Mukesh.

The dinner was great. But you can't expect one to eat more after having lunch at Khatriya Fortune. The Gajar Halwa with a little vanilla mix was the tastiest item and there was a carrot and beans poriyal, which had a touch of my mother's prep. During, before and after dinner received a lot of compliments for the song. Except and Nithya and SJanani. CSMurali, Praveen, Janaki, Sripal and all of them. Kishore was the main whistler for my song and he had a great time whistling, as observed by Kiranmayee.

And my second dance floor. Next to Viceroy's. Great time with Kishore, Aalap, Sripal, Nithya, Deepthi, Bindu and Ganesh, Vikki, Rajesh, Pradeep, Anbu, Amit. The CD changer must have been a ..... the composition could have been better.

Great evening. Total fun.

Swagatham

This is my first web log. I remember creating a one some time before but lost all memories about it. This I compose from Juno Online Services Development Pvt Ltd., Hyderabad, India on 22nd Nov 2004. at 9.48am IST.

I got impressed by Anto's (http://antorocks.blogspot.com/ ) blogs and started this one. I have thought in the past, after an excursion or a long trip to some temple, to write about it (say a travelogue). But I never did it for no obvious reason than my laziness. Hope it will not be so in future.
Thanks Antoji.

So let me begin!

Love,
Parthi.